Jumping In

My dream, slightly altered, has become my goal.  The original dream was to hike the Juan de Fuca trail – I have dreamt about it, researched it and talked about it for years.  The one thing I never did was put action behind my dream and actually make a plan to do it.  Then a few years back I decided I wanted to do the Chilkoot Trail.  I once again dreamt about it and started watching YouTube videos about the trail and other hikers’ adventures.  However, I once again did not put action behind my desire to do the trail and it stayed as a dream.

A few weekends ago I got an experience that allowed me see in a very real way, that I often do this in my life – I come up with what I want, I do the research, I dream about it; but when it comes to action I freeze up, point out all the reasons why it can’t be done and talk myself out of it.  However, the interesting part is the dream will usually cycle back around and I will do the same process over again.  Even as I write this I cannot help but think that the whole thing sounds a little insane.  The number of times I have been so close to action behind a dream is kind of mind-blowing ... I must have been just on that edge a number of times, yet never just jumped in and took the chance.

During another weekend adventure through many conversations and activities I was exploring different options for getting out and trying something new.  A few nights after this weekend I remembered a program called Outward Bound that a friend of mine did after getting her undergrad degree.  So I typed the words “Outward Bound” into Google, hoping that I remembered the name correctly.  Sure enough there was an “Outward Bound” and I clicked on the link.  It looked like the type of program my friend had talked about, so I started to explore their adult courses for 2014.  I saw the West Coast Trail – and a few other trips, but landed on one that sounded like EXACTLY what I was looking for.  The weekend, a backpacking trip in the Rockies, didn’t have 2014 dates posted, - so I figured I would email them later ....

Well the next day (or so), after reading the description an embarrassing number of times, I tweeted Outward Bound to see if I could get a response on if and when they would be offering the course.  The next day I saw the response – it was happening, though the dates were unknown.  Maybe a day (or so) later there was an additional tweet that stated the likely dates would be August 10 to 17, 2014.

On October 24^th I noticed the dates were up – August 10 to 17^th, 2014 and registration was open.  I read the description again, very – slowly, each word, carefully.  The next day as I read the description and opened up the tab to register I would freak out.  

“What if I cannot do it?”

“Am I strong enough?”

“My cardio SUCKS!”

“It is a lot of money.”

“What if life changes and I cannot go?”

 ALL the EXCUSES I could possibly think of came to mind.  I stopped for a second and thought – What do I REALLY want ...... and the answer was, I WANT to go on this trip.  So before I could change my mind I filled out the application form, typed in the payment information and hit complete.

Step one – I JUMPED - this is no longer a DREAM, it is now my GOAL.

So step two is figuring out how to plan for an 8 month goal of a backpacking trip.  I have been spinning my wheels a bit and today decided that step 2 will likely involve getting a trainer to help with setting up a plan.

So my lesson from October is – sometimes when standing on the edge, the action of anticipating what will happen and the voices in my head are way scarier than just jumping in and going for it.