Jumping In

My dream, slightly altered, has become my goal.  The original dream was to hike the Juan de Fuca trail – I have dreamt about it, researched it and talked about it for years.  The one thing I never did was put action behind my dream and actually make a plan to do it.  Then a few years back I decided I wanted to do the Chilkoot Trail.  I once again dreamt about it and started watching YouTube videos about the trail and other hikers’ adventures.  However, I once again did not put action behind my desire to do the trail and it stayed as a dream.

A few weekends ago I got an experience that allowed me see in a very real way, that I often do this in my life – I come up with what I want, I do the research, I dream about it; but when it comes to action I freeze up, point out all the reasons why it can’t be done and talk myself out of it.  However, the interesting part is the dream will usually cycle back around and I will do the same process over again.  Even as I write this I cannot help but think that the whole thing sounds a little insane.  The number of times I have been so close to action behind a dream is kind of mind-blowing ... I must have been just on that edge a number of times, yet never just jumped in and took the chance.

During another weekend adventure through many conversations and activities I was exploring different options for getting out and trying something new.  A few nights after this weekend I remembered a program called Outward Bound that a friend of mine did after getting her undergrad degree.  So I typed the words “Outward Bound” into Google, hoping that I remembered the name correctly.  Sure enough there was an “Outward Bound” and I clicked on the link.  It looked like the type of program my friend had talked about, so I started to explore their adult courses for 2014.  I saw the West Coast Trail – and a few other trips, but landed on one that sounded like EXACTLY what I was looking for.  The weekend, a backpacking trip in the Rockies, didn’t have 2014 dates posted, - so I figured I would email them later ....

Well the next day (or so), after reading the description an embarrassing number of times, I tweeted Outward Bound to see if I could get a response on if and when they would be offering the course.  The next day I saw the response – it was happening, though the dates were unknown.  Maybe a day (or so) later there was an additional tweet that stated the likely dates would be August 10 to 17, 2014.

On October 24^th I noticed the dates were up – August 10 to 17^th, 2014 and registration was open.  I read the description again, very – slowly, each word, carefully.  The next day as I read the description and opened up the tab to register I would freak out.  

“What if I cannot do it?”

“Am I strong enough?”

“My cardio SUCKS!”

“It is a lot of money.”

“What if life changes and I cannot go?”

 ALL the EXCUSES I could possibly think of came to mind.  I stopped for a second and thought – What do I REALLY want ...... and the answer was, I WANT to go on this trip.  So before I could change my mind I filled out the application form, typed in the payment information and hit complete.

Step one – I JUMPED - this is no longer a DREAM, it is now my GOAL.

So step two is figuring out how to plan for an 8 month goal of a backpacking trip.  I have been spinning my wheels a bit and today decided that step 2 will likely involve getting a trainer to help with setting up a plan.

So my lesson from October is – sometimes when standing on the edge, the action of anticipating what will happen and the voices in my head are way scarier than just jumping in and going for it. 

Getting inspired

I spent this past weekend out in the country at a lodge with 8 amazing women.  The weekend was pleasure – learning what it is and how to get more of it in our lives.  I know that I definitely enjoyed drinking my morning tea or coffee on the porch watching the sunrise paint the autumn landscape orange.  However, it also got me thinking a bit more about what I want.  I spent most of Saturday night outside alone watching the full(ish) moon light up the sky, feeling the cool breeze and hearing the other women laugh inside as they played games.  I just enjoyed the fresh air and the time in nature.

About a month and a half after moving to Edmonton I have signed up for a number of meetup groups.  Just a couple of weeks ago I found out that Edmonton has an outdoor club, so I signed up for that too.  Tomorrow will be my first event that I actually attend with the Edmonton Outdoor Club – a night of learning about snowshoeing.  The event is actually being held at Camper’s Village (an outdoor store) as part of their winter adventure series.  Tonight I ended up at Camper’s Village to see if they still did ski package deals and determine what it would cost to gear up for cross country skiing.  They invited me to sit down and listen to the lecture tonight – Winter Survival.  The passion of the presenters was contagious!  I noticed when the one guy started talking about search and rescue my reaction was pure excitement.  I have looked at doing search and rescue on and off for years, though each time I look at it I am reminded I am not in good enough shape to do what I want.  The realization came up again tonight – first I am not in the mountains and second, I am not in good enough shape to be in that type of roll.  The giddy passion that coursed through my body is almost at the threshold of giving in to at least working towards being in good enough shape for 2014 recruitment.  There is no guarantee that I will be able to meet all the requirements; however, I have learned that if I don’t start, I will never be where I want to. 

This just added to the fact that lately I really feel nature calling my name – to go and explore the outdoors, to be inquisitive of the environment around me again.  So tonight I learned how to prepare for winter activities and tomorrow I will learn more about snowshoeing and meet other local people interested in doing the same.  

 Really – it is about the small steps!

Change is in the Air

As the weather changes and the leaves start to turn yellow and fall to the ground, I realize just how much my life has changed in the last 3 months.  Since the end of June I have changed jobs and changed cities; which in turn changed the friends I see (or don’t see), the activities I do and even the way I shop.  All these changes led to a decision to change my blog – its name and its purpose. 

Previously my blog was created to write about food, moving and getting into the flow of life.  However, often when I thought about what to write it would fall under the “flow of life” category (if any).  What I had thought I would be interested in writing when I created my blog has changed – along with the other aspects in my life.  So it seemed only reasonable to change the name of my blog and free myself from the constraints I felt I had put upon myself.  I am hoping this change will create the outlet I originally desired.

So welcome to the new revised blog – Bushwhacking through Life.